My story started three months post having my son Saxon in April 2023.

My pregnancy was perfect, I had no sickness, I felt healthy and fit, and my mental health was fine. In fact, I had never suffered from any mental health problems in the past.  

I had a planned caesarean as I had a low-lying placenta up to 32 weeks of my pregnancy, it then went behind Saxon on the scans and the doctors couldn’t determine where it was.

My gut told me to elect for a caesarean section right away. The surgery went well with no complications and the moment I met my baby boy for the first time is something I’ll never forget. I was full of happy emotions and love filled my life that day. It will forever be the best day of my life, meeting and holding Saxon.

As the weeks turned into months postpartum, I was crying a lot, I was cranky at the drop of a hat, and I was always afraid to hand my son over to people who were offering to help me. I felt like my life was falling apart, I had this massive dark cloud over my head with negative emotions and thoughts, but the only thing that made me feel calm and less overwhelmed was holding Saxon.  

When my fiancé́ Blake, parents, family and friends wanted to help with Saxon, I would snap, cry and feel lost when he was out of my arms or not next to me.

Blake encouraged me to see a GP, as he noticed my behaviour and emotions were out of character. I booked an appointment and as soon as the doctor asked if I was okay, I burst out crying.  I said, “This is not me. I can’t stop crying and I have this huge anxiety come over me when Saxon isn’t with me”. The GP put me on medication and referred me to a psychiatrist.  

I have never been one to talk about myself or open-up. I have always been a closed book when it comes to my emotions so having to go to a psychiatrist and talk about how I was feeling was hard.

After my first session, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. I was in denial for such a long time. “Why me?” is what I kept thinking. I had never suffered from mental health, so why now? This is meant to be the happiest time of my life, I have a beautiful and healthy son, I’m a first-time mother with a loving and supportive partner and we have great family support around us.

After a couple of sessions with my psychologist and taking medication, I felt the dark cloud that was once hanging over my head starting to lift. Talking to someone was such a relief, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

That’s when I decided to run a marathon, I have always used fitness as a coping strategy with stress, so why not see if it could help with my depression and show Saxon that when times are tough you find a goal, get out and move.

I started training for the marathon, and that’s when I started talking to friends and family about my mental health and depression. Seeing their reaction and hearing my loved ones talk about things they had been through, prompted me to dedicate my first marathon to raise awareness of postpartum depression. I wanted to get people talking about it, make sure mums and women knew it was okay to speak up. Tell them they weren’t alone and encouraged them to seek the help they need, seeking it is the hardest part.  

My experience has encouraged me to become an advocate for postpartum depression and help as many mothers and women as I can. I want to show how exercise and speaking up can help your mental health.  

I’d be lying if I said I still didn’t have my bad days where I can hardly move or get out of bed but being able to open-up and share my story has definitely helped me navigate my mental health and come out the other side of depression.